- SCREW FRESH DIRECT:

So i found a wonderful thing out tonight. you can actually get your food delivery person to stop and pick up cigarettes for you. i mean seriously isnt that amazing?? recently a friend in my barrio said that you could do that but i didnt believe him.

i called up fresh tacos and ordered a chicken quesadilla and said to the woman on the phone, 'uh can he pick me up a pack of cigarettes' and she said 'what kind' and i was all nervous like i was ordering porn or something and said 'american spirit lights please... the yellow pack!'

half hour later the guy shows up at my door with the quesadilla and the smokes. i said 'wow did you really get my cigarettes' and he was just like 'Si' and then i said 'where did you go to get them?' to which he again replied 'Si'.

I then said, 'how about you come in for a few minutes and we hose each other down with my hot dog vendor ketchup and mustard squeezable bottles'

of course he said 'Si' again, but this time he gave me a little wink. I tipped him $2.50, took my food, said 'thank you' and shut the door.