Wednesday, April 19


Let's just present a hypothetical here involving a handsome man, we will call him "Stan" who just got back from a short excursion with his lovely lady who we will call "Georgina".

A few days after arriving home to the states, "Stan" went to his local money house (aka bank) to exchange what foreign currency he had left. Keeping a few pesos is nice but he had a bit more than that. So he went to the local money house and did the exchange. After leaving the bank he was almost 99% positive that the bank made an error. The error was 1) in his favor and 2) for what he suspected was a little more than $300.

Enter moral dilemma stage right. He didn't think that the teller would be responsible for this money but a few friends and loved ones said yes, indeed they would be. Turns out Stan (as is usually the case) was right, that the teller would not be held personally responsible for this error.

Anyway Stan was going to keep the money. Then Stan's car got towed. Towed and ticketed. Fuckah da police! And especially the traffic cops who give tickets!

Guess how much this tow and ticket would cost Stan? A little more than $300! Did you guess right? If not you're an idiot and can't follow a simple story.

Was this Gods way at teaching Stan a lesson? Was it God punishing him? I mean he already gave Stan a bit of a belly, why more punishment? WHY GOD WHY?!


Stan was pissed and vowed to fight da police. Stan spoke with Georgina and made a promise. He said that if this unjust ticket was reversed he would go to his money holding house (for your layman that's a bank) and tell them what happened. Georgina said hey maybe they will let you keep it anyway..Not bloody likey he thought to himself. Yes I wrote "likey".

So into the judges office Stan went with ticket in hand. He was nervous. He was sweating. He wanted this ticket adjudicated dammit!

AND IT WAS! The midget fairies rejoiced and flowers with wiener dog puppy stems fell from the sky as Stan twirled around in ecstasy.....Well at least till the Court officer said, "What the fuck you think you doing dancing up a pansie storm in this court..fuck outtta here!" Then he left.


Now what about the bank?

Today I no wait "Stan" went to his nearby branch and sat down with the manager and explained the situation, even going so far as to adding in the whole car towing/ticket thing and basically blaming Georgina (who is a great girl despite this) for being his moral dictator. What was he going to say? Stan though that he wouldn't even blink and would just dip into his account and snatch that money like a fat man stealing french fries off the plate of a blind man.

The manager was totally cool and smiled at Stan's story, as you should be right now. He said chances are if they didn't catch it you have nothing to worry about. Woah!Wait, does that mean Stan gets a free pass? Basically yes, if Stan wants to.

The money does not come out of the tellers pocket and if Stan really want to then he can go down to the specific branch where it happened and they will probably deduct the extra money from my balance. I mean his balance. Stan's balance.

What should Stan do in your opinion?


At 5:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

as a person of, what i consider, high moral character. i would totally keep that shit.

At 6:29 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

There's this scene in the movie Family Man where Nicolas Cage walks into a convenience store to get a cup of coffee or something. I don't remember. And Don Cheadle plays the guy working at the counter. Turns out there's a girl in the line before Cage and she is buying something for 99 cents, and she hands Cheadle a dollar. Cheadle takes nine dollars out of the till and counts it out to the girl, giving her way too much change.

And the girl doesn't correct him. She sees that he is handing her way too much money - change for a ten - yet she picks it up and puts it in her pocket without saying a word. And as she is walking out the door, Cheadle stops her to give her another chance. He asks her if there is anything else she needs. She shakes her head no and walks out.

So Cheadle looks over at Cage and he says, 'Did you see that? She was willing to sell her character for nine dollars. NINE DOLLARS!'

"Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike."

so yea ... keep the money :)

At 6:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

buy me a drink

At 6:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

if you keep it and actually spend it, id say youre a robin hood-type figure

At 8:18 PM, Anonymous Samantha Weber said...

Interesting hypothetical dilemma. $300 is a nice chunk of change...but will it cause a disagreement between you and your lady? Or will you feel guilty in any way? If so, $300 isn't worth it. It's just money. (I'd personally feel like I'd have to give it back because of the ticket being cancelled, but that's just me.)

Let us know what you decide.

At 11:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep the money. It does not hurt anyone to keep it!

At 11:49 AM, Blogger eefers said...

You did your duty by coming clean with the bank. Keep it. And buy me something good for my birthday (May 9).

You have a car? When did you get a car?

At 4:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

GEEZE!!! That is a hard one. The bank messes up all the time. Sometimes in your favor, sometimes not. I deposited at the ATM once, keyed in 650 (note you have to enter 00 for the change). I made an error and forgot. Needless to say, they didnt correct this for me. I, however, did notice the mistake and contacted them for the rest of my $650.00.

Point being, they wont notice... KEEP IT!!

At 10:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you tried to come clean and kept your word with "da man" (Aka god) so screw the bank. They would do the same to you if they had the chance!

At 10:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep the coiny girlfriend- just think about all the useless bank fees you get hit w/on a yearly basis. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth- even if it was accidental

At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say because Stan made a promise to his lady, he should keep his word. Stan wouldn't want his lady friend to think that he would not follow through on his word for a sum of money.


PS: However if she's ok with him backing out on their deal, then buy her something nice.

At 4:32 PM, Blogger Tree Trunk Ho Slappa said...

I thought about that scene in the Family man the other day. I bought (hanging my head) US Weekly with a $10 and he gave me change for a $20. That scene flashed before my brain, and i gave him back the extra 10 bucks. Damn that scene, i could use 10 bucks right now.

Keep it, you admitted to it, your duty is filled.

At 5:20 PM, Anonymous Esther said...

I believe, but please don't quote, and if you really want to know ask a Rav, that "technically" speaking, assuming the bank is Gentile owned that he's not obligated to return the money.

I had a situation almost exactly like this happen to me in the past year. Except it was over $1.29. I bought 3 bags of compost at Home Depot and they charged me for 2. I saw what happened at the time but I was so stressed about money at the time, I didn't say anything. I felt guilty for ages, literally torn to bits over it. I finally asked a Rav. He told me it was fine because since they aren't Jewish and it's a mistake on their behalf I wasn't obligated to point it out. Maybe the Big Guy wanted to give me a break.

However, my mother, Ethical Queen said that was a no go.

For $1.29, I figured I'd pay up. Last time I bought compost I had them ring up an extra.

That being said, it wasn't $300. Keep it if you need it. Though, if you feel any personal or ethical conflict I would donate it to charity.

At 10:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

take some photography lessons ...

At 5:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said... it's ok if a jew screws over a christian, and its just a problem if a jew screws over another!

At 1:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe g-d wasn't just teaching you a lesson with the ticket but giving you the opportunity to do the right thing when it was dismissed. If you don't do the right thing, maybe the lesson is yet to come... karma my friend. Besides, do you really want to add to your list of non-kosherness?

At 5:43 PM, Blogger but anyway... said...

Dude, I've stolen iced tea from unsuspecting vendors, but that's where one should draw the line...

At 3:15 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

Did someone just offer life advice via a nicolas cage film?

At 8:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...



Post a Comment

<< Home