- I PUT MY UNDERWEAR ON BACKWARDS AGAIN TODAY
As all you loyal fans know this isn't the first time I've done this.
I remember now that I felt funny on my bicycle on the ride into work today but didn't really give it a second thought until my first peeeeeeeeee break of the afternoon. As I went to play with my lawn sprinkler I felt around for an opening in my red banana republic boxers, and got scared thinking I might have twisted my body around like in the movies, without realizing it..
Then it dawned on me...duhhh
Speaking of Planters peanuts in that previous post, I'm now eating Duane Reades exclusive brand of peanuts named 5th Avenue "Preferred Peanuts" you know their good because they are "Preferred." The thing is that Duane Reade also makes a brand that don't have the fancy labeling and word "Preferred" on them and I've eaten them.
Let me be honest, the non preferred peanuts are frigging nasty. Disgusting! Revolting! They're like that inbred house of neighbors who used to live across the street from you who never cleaned their lawn. Weird things happened in that house. I kinda had a crush on the girl though and carved her name into my treehouse (and my arm).