- GUINESS, THE BOOK NOT THE BEER:

I'm going to try to smoke a mouthful of cigarettes like that guy in the old Guiness Book of World Records used to do. Remember reading those? I think I had the 1984 or 1986 version and just basically read it year after year without updating to a newer copy. There was the guy with the really long finger nails that had the curl which made you think "my god do nails really grow all curvy like that when they get that long, and if so WHY WHY?!?!"

Then there was the bearded woman who was just an ugly woman to begin with so might as well grow a beard if you have the opportunity. There was the worlds tallest man who just didn't look comfortable in any of those pictures and the worlds smallest/shortest people who if you've never noticed always seem to be very happy.

Then that fat guy who got buried in the coffin which was "the size of a grand piano." i could never forget that description. And the two fat twins with the funny outfits on the motorcycles. I was pleased to see the Simpsons referenced that in an episode one time...which pleased me to know I wasn't the only one who read those books religiously.