Thursday, July 8

- YOU'RE FIREHIRED:

Man you could really get someone with that at work or on an interview right? yell, "YOU'RE HIREEEFIRED!!" and keep mixing it up so their emotions go up, down, back up, to the side and then they just vomit over the edge of their chair into your little metal mesh trash bin which luckily had a plastic bag in it.

I'm not the type of person who will ever be in a situation where I am hiring or firing someone and its probably a good thing I won't be. Because I know how badly I would mess with someone during an interview. Doing things like interrupting them and saying, "shhh shhh do you hear that?....hear that???" and then just hold my hand up as if to say "Don't say anything!" and stare wide eyed at the floor or straight up at the ceiling for a full minute or so. Then just pretend it was nothing and ask them to please continue. I would then do it again a few minutes later. Oh and I would be like, "So what's your favorite cartoon character and what life lessons have you learned from them?"

At the end of the interview I would the say "Listen buddy (or "Girlie" if its a girl) let me give you some good advice for your next interview...don't start talking about cartoon characters, it's very unprofessional." After that I will kiss their hand and run down the hall from them as fast as possible.

I think I could have that job. I would have to wear a suit though, right? Well I think I could wear a suit but I would probably only want to work 2 days a week.

From now on I am going to say during the weekend, "God I can't wait until the week!" and, "I LOVE the week!" meanwhile during the week I am going make myself dread the weekend and say "OH god why can't this 5 days be a little bit longer"

yes!

yes!

2 Comments:

At 6:30 PM, Blogger josey said...

How about:

"Well the doctor said it's not that contagious."

"I just threw up in some guy's desk drawer. I think he's new."

"When chicks say no, they really mean yes."

"So my wife is having her fifth abortion..."

 
At 1:55 PM, Blogger lvdkttn said...

*OR*

"Pop Tarts are made out of people. People!"

 

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