Tuesday, May 30

- WILLY WONKA ALMOST GETS A HANDJOB

My god the women here are so small. The following is a true story. We went for massages tonight at a really nice hotel. The whole place gave off a strange feel..but maybe the fact that there were about 10 half naked Japanese businessmen helped contribute to this.

An hour long massage was $8. And it was a pretty damn good massage. The woman mounted my back like she was going on an expedition. She was jamming elbows and fingers into my back and then actually put her knees on my back and started sliding up and down. It felt like she was skiing on me.

Anyway the entire thing was really enjoyable until I had flipped over to my back. She pointed at my crotch and said, "Massage there?"

WHAT? I've gotten about 10 massages in the shadiest, cheapest joints in NYC and NEVER once have been offered a massage "There" so this was a first. I couldn't help but giggle and say, "No but thanks for the offer"

The rest of the massage was rather uncomfortable and not just because of the fact that this woman propositioned me for a costly crotch rub but the fact that she obviously does this quite often and was currently rubbing my entire body (cept for the higher priced parts) really grossed me out.

Anyway I took it in stride and tried not to freak out. I knew the story would be so good I had to get a picture of me with them..they all thought I was so funny because of my hair and my sheer size. I could have swallowed one if I was hungry..they have some tiny people here.

I feel like Willy Wonka

3 Comments:

At 2:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

syphillic bitches

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger Bland said...

They ruv you rong time.

Seriously though: asians love tall, broad shouldered white men...according to my ex who was adored by his dry cleaner.

 
At 5:47 AM, Blogger Phat K said...

Give me the exact lattitude and longitude of this joint! I need to check it out... AH ha ha HAAA!

 

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