Monday, July 3

- THEY FOUND CRACK IN A NASA SPACE SHUTTLE

So I was reading yet another article about space shuttles again.. well actually I was only reading the title because actually reading these articles are so frigging boring I'd choose just about anything over that..give me the choice between an interview with Pauly Shore and a space shuttle article and I'll.. well ok maybe not but still.

FREAKING BORING. You realize we spend like 15 billion a year on space shuttle programs? Who authorizes this bullshit I mean seriously.. I'm sure there's much to learn from space but there's plenty of work that needs to be done on this country with that money right now.

Anyway the way I interpreted the NY Times article today, Monday July 3rd, 2006 was much more interesting than the actual original article was.

"Crack is found in Shuttle's Foam Insulation"
Crack is found in shuttle's foam insulation

CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla., July 3 —Inspectors found what they called "crack" in the foam insulation of the space shuttle Discovery's external fuel tank early today. NASA managers are meeting to determine whether these discovered narcotics will affect a planned liftoff Tuesday afternoon, according to the space agency.

"We don't know who stuffed this crack rock in the insulation as of now," spokesman George Diller said today at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration's Kennedy Space Center. He followed with, "Our laboratory is currently testing the shit out to see how pure it actually is."

Problems with hiding drugs in the insulating foam on the fuel tank have been a concern and a high priority for NASA since pieces of the foam broke away during launch and led to the destruction of the shuttle Columbia on Feb. 1, 2003. When asked for comment, Discovery crew member Kenny Longsmith said "Bitches be stealing my shit!" which seemed to have no relevance to the current situation.

NASA grounded the shuttle fleet after the accident, and spent more than $1 billion to redesign the orbiters, focusing on securing the foam. When asked for comment George Diller was interrupted by Kenny Longsmith who interjected with, "You think for a billion bucks you could fix us some fucking cubby holes for our crack. Fuck you thinkin?"

On the only flight since then, a mission by Discovery a year ago, the shedding of foam was greatly reduced, but several pieces did break free that were large enough to damage the shuttle's heat shield if they had struck it. Shuttles have not flown since then, while NASA once again addressed the problem, including removing more than 35 pounds of foam and making other changes. NASA promises to waste a tremendous amount of taxpayers money in the near future.

2 Comments:

At 7:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

They should just put their crack in the fuel tank. Blast it out into the air so everyone can have some fun.

 
At 5:42 AM, Blogger Phat K said...

That's all we need is people smuggling crack into space. Then we will have a bunch of drug addled alien crackheads to deal with. When was the last time we ever did anything cool in space anyway. I'm beginning to wonder if we ever really landed on the moon. We can't even get a fucking rocket into orbit these days. I guess there is no more competition from those Ruskies to keep us going, no more Ronnie Raygun to implement hair-brain "Star Wars" programs... so they have to resort to intergalactic drug smuggling.... Hell... if crack is good enough for the former mayor of D.C. I guess it's good enough for E.T. too.

 

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