- BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
What is "The Doubt" anyway? I think that is the only time you hear the word doubt presented with a THE in front of it. Am I right?
So I have to tell you about some stuff I've seen over the past few weeks and I decided to present these little snippets of life in this little segment called, "Benefit of the doubt!"
- On my way to lunch this afternoon I walked by a man sitting in his car eating out of a large plastic tub of margerine. It was a Parkay tub I believe and not one of those little normal sized ones, this was like the enormous COSCO sized tubs. I am assuming that it was washed out and he had his lunch in there, and that he wasn't in fact finishing off the remains of a once glorious tub of fat. He gets The benefit of the doubt! (I'm imagining a sound effect to accompany that finishing line, like a jail cell door slamming or a loud buzzer..something)
- On my way to lunch about a week ago I was walking when a man came running down the street with two small pigs slung over his shoulder. The pigs were dead and white in color. They were completely in tact except a long knife mark along the belly. The man was wearing a white shirt I think..I was not too focused on him as I couldn't take my eyes off the bouncing dead pigs on his shoulder. I am assuming he was a cook and was running from a meat market or grocery store and bringing them to a restaurant. I was hoping he was not some lunatic who had just sacrificed those pigs and was bringing them to the girl he is currently stalking. He gets, "The benefit of the doubt!"
- A man running around the streets of Washington Heights with his pants around his ankles screaming about Bush, Cheney, their regime and the CIA's new method of mind control and implanting computer chips into our forearms. I want to think that this man may be on to something but the outfit (or lackthereof) and the foaming mouth just makes me less credible. If you saw me doing that would I get "The benefit of the doubt!"??? ahhh come on please.