Monday, October 4

- NO SPITTING

that is an actually sign you see in Chinatown and not just anywhere but the Post Office for Christmas sake. I think there's a problem when you need to put up several signs to instruct human beings not to spit indoors, and yes I said several it's not like there was just one sign written in both English and some form of Chinese. I tried to imagine what life would have been like before the signs went up. A virtual slip in slide of saliva while trying to send home bootleg movies and buying stamps. Why do people spit that much? Is it like that in certain Asian countries? I don't get it. I know I do spit probably more than is socially acceptable but I try not to do it in front of people I don't know and I always use the outdoors and even go so far as making it in a spot where people don't walk. Maybe I should move to Hong Kong.

Speaking of stamps, I've kinda given up on the whole money counterfeiting experiment as the technology is just way too advanced for me. BUT don't give up on my so soon because I realized there is one thing that I could probably counterfeit and totally get away with. STAMPS! Yes my friends gather round while I explain to you the beauty behind stamps. Stamps are relatively simple pieces of currency to duplicate. All I really need is the scanner, double sticky tape and then a fancy cutter and I doubt anyone will notice. There are no watermarks or hidden grains or anything. Just the amount on the upper left corner, USA on the upper right, and on the specific stamp I'm looking at right now, 2002. I could even make one with my face now that I'm brainstorming. Hey is anyone out there listening?

I'm kidding. Please don't arrest me.

A better question is this: Why do apples sit on my desk for 4 or 5 days before being eaten, while a candy bar has barely a chance to get comfortable before I tear it's wrapper off and gobble it down?

4 Comments:

At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That reminds me of those signs I used to see on the buses in NYC that read NO: drinking, smoking, spitting, radio playing. I always used to wonder how bad the spitting problem was that they had to put up a sign banning it.

Hey, you're not as bad as I am--my job is to teach overweight individuals to eat healthier, and meanwhile, I have a rapidly depleting quart of Starbucks ice cream in my freezer. :P

Doronit

 
At 2:42 PM, Blogger Fuzygabber said...

So I scanned some stamps, and successfully printed them out, and guess what? You don't NEED a fancy cutter! You know those peel-off stamps with the backing? THOSE ARE STRAIGHT EDGED! HOT DIGGITY!!! Mass mailing, here I come!!!!!

 
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