Thursday, September 9


I had a strange dream last night that I was being chased down a dark alley by 100 miniature Chinese cooks. Not quite human in size, they looked more like large action figure dolls. All of them were yielding little cleavers, miniature woks, and very sharp looking chopsticks. I couldn't quite understand what they were chanting but it was something to the effect of, "You in big trouble!"

What could I have done to piss them off? Aren't I a good customer? I don't complain when the food is bad, much. Not that there is a lot to complain about since the quality of Asian cuisine here is pretty high. As I sit here at lunch writing this, an elderly Chinese man just walked in who has 6 fingers. The 6th finger isn't so much a finger as it is a strange growth off of his left thumb. It doesn't really look much like a finger but it does have a thin narrow nail on the tip of it, so officially on paper I think it would qualify as a finger.

Kinda reminds me of a character out of Big Trouble In Little China. Remember that movie? No? Good, you probably shouldn't. It starred Kurt Russell in another of his, "I can't believe he was robbed of an Oscar" roles.

Another dream I had a few days ago involved me combing my hair. I realize I have pretty good hair, it's one of my finer qualities that I am proud of. But to have a dream about doing my hair up with a high quality foaming pomade or a sculpting wax that comes in an expensive hockey-puck-shaped-container is strange, even by my standards. My hair in the dream was really long and shiny and luxurious I'm not going to lie to you. I think the dream must have been spawned from a conversation my boss was having with me the day before. We were talking about hair because he asked if I was growing out a beard. I told him how I always keep a very short close cropped beard on my face and he mentioned growing sideburns if he still could. He mentioned that his hair doesn't grow like it used to and that it is more difficult to manage than in his early years. Maybe the dream was me worrying about losing my glory cause I'm like Samson. My strength is in my hair... and in my body odor. just kidding I smell like a million bucks. well a million dollars if that money was drenched in cheap Italian cologne.



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