Wednesday, December 15

- CHRISTMAS

So let me get this straight with all you silly gentiles. On December 25th each year, Jesus comes down through your chimney or if you live in an apartment building I guess he comes in through the bathroom window off the fire escape. He then puts presents in over-sized socks and eats some of your food.

Why is he still so thin if he's eating at all these houses?

I think Jesus was a magician which would explain the walking on water thing and turning water into wine. It's all just slight of hand and distraction with magicians isn't it? I think since those Magic Secrets Revealed shows we now understand just a little bit better how they do their tricks. But back two thousand years ago they didn't have t.v. at least I don't think they did.

Is that how we count our years? So that means that 2004 years ago Jesus was born and since then we count by that? Man that's impressive.

I just researched the Jewish years and found that we are on like year 5765 so what do you think about that? I wonder who was born 5765 years ago? Probably someone important at the time was just like, "Listen up you stinky bastards, my birthday is gunna start the history of man you hear me?" and his friends were like, "Dude are you out of your mind?"

But was he? The answer is, NO.



2 Comments:

At 3:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're forgetting the whole Santa angle. Maybe he is Jesus's minion, and Jesus sends him to the homes because Jesus doesn't want to get fat eating everyone's food. Or maybe Jesus dresses as Santa when he comes down the chimneys? I wonder...

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger Boozie said...

Jesus has really good metabolism, duh. But anyway, one of my co-workers (from Afghanistan) thought that Santa Claus a religious figure...also the Easter Bunny.

 

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