- MORE CHINESE FORTUNES

I eat a lot of chinese food and therefore have many fortune cookies. Hey I have to get my material for this website from somewhere.


Think of the danger while things are going smoothly

What is this all about? Aren't fortunes supposed to be nice happy positive messages. I can understand the positive spin of this fortune, you know, just be cautious about life and be wary of what might happen. But after stuffing my face with scallion pancakes and #15 Dragon and Phoenix (Morsels of Chicken Sauteed In Hot and Spicy Sauce, Accompanied with Sauteed Prawns In a Lightly Flavored Sauce), I DO NOT want to think of what danger might come. I'm automatically thinking, "Does this mean something I just ate from this chinese flop house is going to make me sick?"

This is a great day to handle those real estate matters!

Again, what the hell is this? What happened to the Confucious sayings when I was a wee toddler reading my fortune as a child. Sayings like, "He who expects no gratitude
shall never be disappointed." Now it's shit telling you to buy stuff. I guess Confucious must have died or got fired from his job writing fortunes.

Happy life is just in front of you

After finishing my meal of Honey Crispy Chicken at Wo Hop on Mott street I was a bit dissapointed when I realized I was getting the bill with no fortune cookie. Knowing that I would be posting more Chinese Fortunes on my website for you loyal readers, I had to ask for the cookie which is the first time I had done that. They probably thought I was a lunatic.

When I tore open the yellowish brown cookie and found this fortune inside I'll admit I was a bit excited. Happy Life is right in front of you! As I looked up expecting to see Selma Hayek asking me if I want to take a cab to her apartment, all I saw was an elderly gentleman putting on his coat. I started thinking to myself that maybe I should talk to him. Possibly he owned some huge corporation and would want me to run it or maybe he was dying and decided to give his fortune to the next person to randomly start talking to him. All these hopes and dreams vanished when he blew his nose into a knapkin and put it on the counter then walked out of the restuarant while clearing his nose further with his fingers. Oh well. Next time you ancient Chinese philosphers have to be more specific.