Wednesday, January 26

- PHRASES THAT WON'T CALM ME DOWN

- It's only the mafia.

- Sure you can re-use dental floss, it can be used over and over again. (My old dentist as he was flossing my teeth after a cleaning. He later reassured me that he meant he does that at home of course never in the office. I still was a little nervous, I mean who uses a strand of dental floss more than once?)

- Don't move and don't swallow. (My new dentist when the crown she was putting on my tooth slipped out of her fingers and landed on the back of my throat. She quickly reached in and grabbed it. Yeah man I hate going to the dentist.)

- I don't think that was our food he just sneezed on.

- It's only 4 more years.

2 Comments:

At 9:11 AM, Blogger Lizzi said...

Top 10 Signs Your Cat is Planning to Kill You



1. Seems mighty chummy with the dog all of a sudden.

2. Unexplained calls to F. Lee Bailey's 900 number on your bill.

3. He actually _does_ have your tongue.

4. You find a stash of "Feline of Fortune" magazines behind the couch.

5. Cyanide pawprints all over the house.

6. You wake up to find a bird's head in your bed.

7. As the wind blows over the grassy knoll in downtown Dallas, you get a faint whiff of catnip.

8. Takes attentive notes every time "Itchy and Scratchy" are on.

9. Has taken a sudden interest in the wood chipper.

10. Ball of yarn playfully tied into a hangman's noose. Watch your cat carefully for any one of these signs.

Author: Unknown, but he/she left pawprints all over the computer!




CATERIZATIONS

Catatonic: Constant state of most cats

Catatalia: Cat-a-tell-ya! Yeah, right!

Cataphobic: Fear of cats

Catarobics: As if cats exercise?




Cat Favorites

Favorite plants: cattails, catnip

Favorite stones: Cat's eys, pearls

Favorite color: Purple




Cat Phrases

Would you like a paw up?

Hears tailing (telling) ya.

Nice to shake paws (or tails) with ya.

 
At 2:41 PM, Blogger Boozie said...

From my "jumpmaster" on my first skydiving trip:

"Keep your head very still or we'll head-butt each other, I'll get knocked unconcious and we'll smash into the ground at 120mph, causing certain death. Okay?"

 

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