Wednesday, January 5


I was sitting here at my computer prepared to bring you an engaging post about my umbrella until a more exciting story developed in the process. I guess I should start with the umbrella thing before I get to the details of the pee party Mr. Mingus had with my plant.

I just received a brand new replacement for my ShedRain WindJammer umbrella you can check out here . My post was going to tell you listeners why it's sometimes worth spending a little extra to buy a nice product. Yes I realize the umbrella is $26 but after doing much research I choose that specific umbrella because of the size and wind resistant properties about 2 years ago. It did fine work protecting me from the rain until recently when it finally started to break apart.

Most umbrellas last how long, maybe a few months, half a year if you're lucky? Well for 2 years it was worth having a good sturdy umbrella that was pretty wind resistant. When it finally broke down I sent it in to ShedRain and they replaced it with a brand spanking new umbrella for free. Lifetime warranty. I guess they realize how many people lose their umbrellas and therefore never send them in to get replaced. Well not me dude. I watch over that thing like a child when I'm in a store or restaurant.

So the peeing part. I realize you're getting all excited about it. No you shut up. Ok so yesterday when I got home and walked into my room I thought I smelled urine. Mingus, my cat, is a very well trained little monkey and does little wrong. He hasn't reacted so well to the new move though and insists sleeping with his BahBah and the nightlight on the past few weeks. Oh wait.

I mean Mingus has been finicky and crying on and off and refusing to eat his usual food but he didn't seem to have a problem finding his litter box since we've moved here. My friend whose place this was left me a nice plant with a little note that said, "Please take care of me." I thought that was sweet. She also left me a small bottle of saki that had a note which said, "Please drink me." Also a nice gesture.

However, she forgot to leave a note for my cat which said, "Please don't piss all over everything." But how could she have known?

When I walked into my room and smelled the faint smell of kitty pee I sniffed around for a bit and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. I'm not joking you here when I say that I actually smelled under my arms.

Under my arms? What the fuck was I thinking? If I ever have B.O. that smells like cat piss I think I have more problems then Mingus does, no?

I couldn't find the source and it wasn't that strong of an odor so I forgot about it, until tonight. I heard some rustling and saw my plant moving out of the corner of my eye while sitting at my computer. I walked over and saw his paw in the soil digging around. I shooed him away and leaned down and realized that he had peed in the plant!

So now I'm trying to wash it out in my bathtub. Aw who am I kidding it's in my fucking kitchen sink. So what. Don't come over, I don't care. I'm more hygienic than you anyway trust me. I don't think it was much pee just a little bit. But it was definately enough for the plant to tell me to "Fuck off and let me die." when I said I was going to save it.

Man oh man that is funny shit.

Frigging cat. he's sleeping on my bed now..probably scheming to poop in my toaster tomorrow.

editors note: Daniel does not have a toaster


At 9:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i once knew a guy that pissed on his rug and then blamed it on his dog

At 11:43 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Count your blessings he didn't pee on the floor. Last week, I walked into the kitchen and didn't realize my dog had peed all over the floor until I stepped in it. Had to throw out a perfectly good pair of socks.


At 1:45 PM, Blogger Lizzi said...

Stop blaming Mingus on things you do.

At 9:22 AM, Blogger Boozie said...

My best friend moved into an apartment where the previous tenants cats had pissed in the closest...for 4 years. Yeah, it's gross.

At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i once knew a guy that pissed in a washer...or was it the dryer?

At 5:48 AM, Blogger Zen said...

the plants don't like it and ... it is very difficult to clean a toaster...


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