Tuesday, August 2


Scene from work. This story is the truth. This is not a fantasy/fiction post.

I went hobbling into my bosses office early last week and sat down on a chair in front of his desk.

Me- "Hey Big V, listen. I have to take one more day off this week to rest my foot. It's healing well but the podiatrist wanted to look at it again Thursday, and I'd like to rest it as much as possible before then. She told me part of the wound around the stitches is still open. I really want to be up and walking as soon as possible."

Big V- "Daniel, I want you to know that people are starting to take notice about all your absences recently.

Me- (completely shocked and defensive) "WHAT? What people are you referring to? I haven't taken any time off, I have over 2 weeks of vacation time saved up."

Big V- "Daniel I just want you to be aware people are noticing, high up people. You take off a day here and there and that Philadelphia trip recently and now this thing with your foot."

(I got up at this point and shut the door to his office and sat back down)

Me- "That Philadelphia thing was ONE day and I asked you about it. And my foot?! I had to get 5 stitches and haven't been able to walk right for the past few weeks.

(long pause as he looks at me all serious)

Me- (busting out of nowhere, try to imagine me really yelling this)"I'M ALWAYS FUCKING HERE!"

Another long pause inserted here as he's looking at me more intently now. I sit back and think to myself did I just use the word FUCKING really loud right to my BOSS.

I'm waiting and quickly thinking I may have to quit right now. I'm not dealing with this BS because in fact I am always here, not super content I am, but obviously now I know I'm not appreciated. I started thinking about looking for new jobs and where I would try to work. All of these thoughts just exploded in my mind within a frame of about 2 seconds.

Then he just jumps back in his chair and starts laughing hysterically and says, "Oh man that was priceless, your reaction...HAHAHAHA!" and just kept laughing.

I was like WTF! I couldn't believe he just pulled one on me like that. I felt like such a moron but started laughing along with him. And pardoned myself for swearing so loudly.

Then the phone rang and he picked it up and I walked out of the office like nothing had just happened.

* I do call my boss Big V just FYI.


At 12:46 PM, Anonymous jess said...

That sounds terrifying!
The V in Big V must stand
for vagary.

At 11:23 AM, Blogger Bland said...

You got some big ballz. Mighty big ones for yelling at your boss.

At 5:23 PM, Blogger Spinning Girl said...

Funny story! A mutual friend of ours sent me to your blog (I won't say who --wink wink, nudge nudge--let's just call her "M"). Good stuff so far...will stick around and see what else ya got.

At 12:47 AM, Blogger PiggyReese said...

u rule, as you know I support anything work related!

At 4:50 AM, Blogger ktdd said...

This sounds exactly like what my old boss would do to me, just to torment my poor self as the only woman in the office. Ooooh, memories...

At 1:19 PM, Blogger Tree Trunk Ho Slappa said...

I love the way you tell you stories, its like having a conversation. This one was one of the best by far.... although the one when your mom hit the biker was awesome. Mr. Random, you sure are a good story teller, too bad you can't cook for shit. BIG HUGS!

At 10:54 PM, Blogger sisi said...

I love Dilbert! :) ...I'm sorry, I'm doing abstract commenting today.


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