Monday, January 23

- AIM ROBOTS

AOL Instant messenger has these bots which you can use now. One is a "Shopping Buddy" and one is a "Moviefone" bot. They show up online all the time and you can send them an instant message and inquire about anything having to do with shopping for the former or movies with the latter.

My conversation tonight:

Me: Hi stinkybutt

ShoppingBuddy: Welcome. Now you can search for products with AOLShopping. Type main to get started. To read our privacy policy, type privacy anytime.

Me: ha you're funny.

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for ha funny

- Ha! Ha! Ha! [$2.95 - $5.95]
- Funny Ha Ha - DVD [$14.99 - $21.99]

Me: How about the movie Fast times at your moms house

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for fast times moms house

- Help Wanted for Busy Moms [$8.99]

Me: fucku

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for fucku

- Fuck You, This Is Rice [$5.99 - $6.99]
- What The Fuck Will Change? [$11.49 - $13.98]
- Fuck World Trade [Digipak] * [$10.66 - $15.98]
- I'll Shut Up When You Fuck Off * [$5.00]
- Fuck The System * [$16.62 - $36.49]
- Fuck Me Then Get Out [$7.95]
- Straightedge As Fuck III [$6.99 - $13.98]
- Amped The Fuck Up [$6.99 - $13.99]
- Fuck Me Harder White Boy #2 [$26.95]

Me: fuck

ShoppingBuddy: Clean it up a little -- this is a family bot. ;-)

Me: clean it up a little? you just sent me a link for "Straightedge As Fuck III" ?! I don't even know what the fuck that is? and they made three of them? even more preposterous!

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy: I didn't find any specific products. Try searching again or type M for the Main Menu.

Me: yeah that's what I thought. ass licker

ShoppingBuddy: Hey -- clean up the language and get serious. I'm happy to help but can't deal with that mouth.

Me: oh but you can sell me "Fuck Me Then Get Out" for $7.95?

ShoppingBuddy: Hmm, that's not gonna get you anywhere with me.

Me: dude you SAID THAT TO ME!

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for dude SAID

- Diaper Dude Charcoal Diaper Bag w [$49.99]
- Diaper Dude Camoflauge Bag [$49.00]
- Diaper Dude Charcoal Diaper Bag w [$44.99]
- Diaper Dude Diaper Diva - Pink Ca [$53.99]
- Black Diaper Dude Bag [$49.00]
- Diaper Dude Camo Kai Diaper Bag C [$53.99]
- Diaper Dude Pink Camouflage [$58.00]
- Diaper Dude Faux Suede Diaper Bag [$89.99]

Me: hmm diaperdude charcoal diaper bag.. ok so maybe we have something in common. I like you ShoppingBuddy. I'm wearing grey boxers with a dirty white t-shirt.

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for wearing grey boxers dirty white shirt

- Sloggi Power low coverage brief [$17.00]

Me: send me a picture of you. cybersex?

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for cybersex

- The Joy of Cybersex [$7.82 - $12.92]
- Online Friendship, Chat-Room Roma [$2.00]
- Cybersex by Kimberly Young (2001) [$4.26]
- The Joy of Cybersex by Nancy Tamo [$4.26]
- Cybersex [$22.23 - $31.91]
- Cybersex Guide [$15.65 - $19.44]
- Self-Games and Body-Play [$27.85 - $33.00]

Me: you nasty bot you.. stop typing with one finger

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for nasty bot typing one finger

- Bissell SpotBot Hands-Free Compac [$129.99]
- Marvel 8" Human Torch Tech Bot [$8.99]
- Marvel 8" Human Torch Tech Bot [$8.99]
- Robot-Bot-Bot by Fernando Krahn ( [$12.20]
- Michelangelo by Marc Le Bot (1995 [$50.00]
- Transformers Go-Bots: Beast-Bot F [$14.99]

Me: ok that Transformers G0-Bots Beast-Bot just did it for me..I'm done thank you!

ShoppingBuddy: Sure, that's what I'm here for!

18 Comments:

At 2:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cuckolded by a bot...a new low for me.

Jordana

 
At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Always a pleasure reading about your new sexual exploits. Well done, indeed, Daniel. I love you and so happy to find you again!

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger sisi said...

U are f*`in hilarious D!
...and....you have entirely too much time on your hands. ;)

 
At 4:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

u are not funny at all. seriously, you need to clean this blog up before i report it.

 
At 4:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

u r a diry-mouthed guy with too much time on ur hands... u need to get a grip on life man

 
At 12:55 AM, Blogger Daniel said...

get a grip on this

 
At 7:04 PM, Anonymous SSJScarlet said...

In my opinion,funny as hell.

 
At 12:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

u are soooo funny bots are complete idoiots but i agree u do have to much time on your hands lol

~Brittany :)

 
At 10:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

u r way to dirty, grow up!! U dont have to abuse the robots. kids type things in and all sorts of stuff comes up a young kid could open this, read it and start cursing, and you would be the one responsible for it! think before u act!

 
At 4:58 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

how about AIM robot thinks before they offer porn to any children who happen to type in the wrong keywords.. go tell AOL who has more of a responsibility to the public than daniel krieger does

 
At 1:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

listen negative people, and listen good, dont treat with reports or tell him he has no life or to much time, if u read carefully he daid midnight blah blah he was bored and now hes revealed the truth behind these pervert robots !! lol ! but seriously sont be little bitches cause theres curses oh heavan no !!!! u guys should just go outside and play an arousing game of hide and go f*uck urself cause ur odviously not taking this seriously enough....on a more personal note i think this is some funny shit but at the same time a lil freaky on the dumb robots part! and for the fag who said that a kid could open it and start cursing....shut up ! thats the most inpractical excuse to be mad at this blog why didnt u try "it offended my virgin ears or eyes ! and im hurt cause im a momas boy with my thumb so far up my ass and my eyes glued to me G rates movies!" it would have been way better then ur concern for the kid who will never open this up, tell me the chances of that shit i mean comon !!! its so dumb u really think that shit i mean no kid is gonna open it up n start cursing, dont try to act liek the mother figure ur reading to much into this, no onea gonna like you cause ur sensitive so go f*uck urself !! but all in all good blog !
-John

 
At 9:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're hilarious. Thanks for the entertainment! :)

 
At 7:57 AM, Blogger Tarika said...

Ok. That was pretty much the most hilarious thing I've ever read. Haha.

 
At 10:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just caught my 7 year old sis on here! go fuck urself!! and watch your language.

 
At 6:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

....your seven year old sis was looking at the wrong site....she could have just as easily typed in the wrong keyword and wound up with a picture of a giant penis on the screen. i mean i feel you i have an 8 year old sister and i wouldnt want her stumbling accross this blog, but if she does its not the guys fault who wrote the blog, its my fault for not monitoring what sites shes visiting..... there are worse things she could be looking at

 
At 6:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

plus what kind of idiot says "go fuck yourself" and "watch your mouth" in the same comment...more or less the same sentence......

 
At 11:28 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

I can't believe this post gets comments after being up a few years..must be on a search engine or something.

 
At 1:04 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this fuck n shit!!!!!! cybersex???? what the fucking hell!! who does that on a family blog you ass-wholes!!!!!! you all need to go to therupy and get you mind worked on!!!!!! this fuckinf SHIT!~!!!!!!! fuck you all that talk to this person!!!!
i am giving you all the finger perverds!!!!!!! go fuck your self you prevered man!!!!!!!! i am going to laugh when i see you on the news!!!!!

 

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