Friday, April 28


Friend: I left my clothes at the gym today. I have to go get them now...brb...
Me: dude u pervert
Me: You left the gym naked?
Friend: hahaha

Kinda reminds me of a classic old vaudeville joke right?

Also there's this email back-n-forth with a coworker:

Me: Do we have double sided tape by any chance?

literally 5 days later I get this email back

Coworker: In the front overhead cabinet in the entrance of room 225

Me: uhh that was an email from like 5 days ago. I got some since then. I also got married and had kids who are currently in college.

Coworker: Great! Invite me to the kids wedding!

Me: Well, they are super geniuses and they're actually only 12 but still sophomores at MIT and MCI and TBS..some of the great universities in our country. That being said it will be a few more years before they get married.. Maybe I'll request a new stapler and when it comes in the wedding will be booked :)

Wednesday, April 19


Let's just present a hypothetical here involving a handsome man, we will call him "Stan" who just got back from a short excursion with his lovely lady who we will call "Georgina".

A few days after arriving home to the states, "Stan" went to his local money house (aka bank) to exchange what foreign currency he had left. Keeping a few pesos is nice but he had a bit more than that. So he went to the local money house and did the exchange. After leaving the bank he was almost 99% positive that the bank made an error. The error was 1) in his favor and 2) for what he suspected was a little more than $300.

Enter moral dilemma stage right. He didn't think that the teller would be responsible for this money but a few friends and loved ones said yes, indeed they would be. Turns out Stan (as is usually the case) was right, that the teller would not be held personally responsible for this error.

Anyway Stan was going to keep the money. Then Stan's car got towed. Towed and ticketed. Fuckah da police! And especially the traffic cops who give tickets!

Guess how much this tow and ticket would cost Stan? A little more than $300! Did you guess right? If not you're an idiot and can't follow a simple story.

Was this Gods way at teaching Stan a lesson? Was it God punishing him? I mean he already gave Stan a bit of a belly, why more punishment? WHY GOD WHY?!


Stan was pissed and vowed to fight da police. Stan spoke with Georgina and made a promise. He said that if this unjust ticket was reversed he would go to his money holding house (for your layman that's a bank) and tell them what happened. Georgina said hey maybe they will let you keep it anyway..Not bloody likey he thought to himself. Yes I wrote "likey".

So into the judges office Stan went with ticket in hand. He was nervous. He was sweating. He wanted this ticket adjudicated dammit!

AND IT WAS! The midget fairies rejoiced and flowers with wiener dog puppy stems fell from the sky as Stan twirled around in ecstasy.....Well at least till the Court officer said, "What the fuck you think you doing dancing up a pansie storm in this court..fuck outtta here!" Then he left.


Now what about the bank?

Today I no wait "Stan" went to his nearby branch and sat down with the manager and explained the situation, even going so far as to adding in the whole car towing/ticket thing and basically blaming Georgina (who is a great girl despite this) for being his moral dictator. What was he going to say? Stan though that he wouldn't even blink and would just dip into his account and snatch that money like a fat man stealing french fries off the plate of a blind man.

The manager was totally cool and smiled at Stan's story, as you should be right now. He said chances are if they didn't catch it you have nothing to worry about. Woah!Wait, does that mean Stan gets a free pass? Basically yes, if Stan wants to.

The money does not come out of the tellers pocket and if Stan really want to then he can go down to the specific branch where it happened and they will probably deduct the extra money from my balance. I mean his balance. Stan's balance.

What should Stan do in your opinion?

Tuesday, April 11


Alternate title was, "HEY LUIGI!! DATSAHHH LOTTTA IMMIGRANTS!!" I said that a few times during the massive immigrant march yesterday that took place in downtown Manhattan. Hey let's face it. Italians can be the butt of immigrant jokes without too much uproar these days..I mean no one is going to call me out on that. But if I made a mexican joke??? no es bueno!

hee hee just kidding relax!

I went out during the march and got a few good shots. Yesterday was a great opportunity for random street portraits. There were photographers all around so I blended in and didn't seem like a pervert taking pictures of people's children. For once.






Tuesday, April 4


I attend a weekly meeting which concludes with trivia and fun facts. The commissioner of our department read this one today that I particularly liked:

"Gotham City"

Washington Irving was the person who dubbed New York City as "Gotham City". Gotham was a town in England noted for its "wise fools," which led to the saying "More fools pass through Gotham than remain in it". The residents of Gotham in England wanted to discourage people from settling in their town, so they purposely acted insane whenever strangers would visit. Irving though New Yorkers had adopted the same strategy.

Monday, April 3


NYC daffodils Photo Contest

Please go HERE and vote for my smooth ass shot of a daffodil

There's a NYC daffodil contest over at for the best shot. So far there aren't many entries but I'm sure a lot more will filter in before the contest is through so it's important to get me some good votes now!