- JOGGING

I think today was the first day in many many years that I attempted to jog. I was remarking to a friend earlier in the day over email that I don't jog/run but perhaps because of that I gave it a go on my walk home from work. I have been pretty active lately with the whole walking home from work thing. Of course besides the whole foot incident that we all remember so well. At least I do.

It just happened. I was crossing Atlantic Avenue while the light was blinking red. I wasn't going to make it so I began lightly jogging. Then I just kept going, a little faster and faster until I was at a decent pace.

It was like in the movies when someone realizes they can fly, or walk again.

It went well...for a few blocks when I collapsed and starting clutching at my chest. No I didn't fall down or experience any heart failure but I only lasted about 3 blocks and then had to stop. I tried it again when I was almost home and didn't even last more than 2 blocks the second time.

I'm pretty impressed with myself though. I never thought I'd be able to do that, especially not whilst smoking a cigarette.

- MY FIRST FILM SHOULD HAVE BEEN KARATE KID PART I

But it wasn't.

And here's why.

Production started out well. I was learning my lines and picking up a passable level of karate by the second or third week of shooting. Mr. Kesuke Miyagi (aka Noriyuki 'Pat' Morita) was totally cool when we first met. He took me out for ice cream and even let me drive his car around the lot.

Elizabeth Shue was like super hot even back in 1984. Actually, ESPECIALLY IN 1984! grrrrrr. She was nice but I could tell she didn't want to hang out with me outside the set. How could I tell? Well she said, "Daniel please don't talk to me unless we are working on the movie." It doesn't get much more apparent than that. And to this day it still doesn't when girls tell me the same thing.

Ok back to the movie and not to the reason why I'm doing this 2AM on a fucking Monday Night (BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND GET IT!) And I don't have a girlfriend because my karate is shit, I realize that now.

I think you all deserve to see the picture now. You've waited long enough...So here you go:



Yeah well as you can see from the picture by the time we got into the action scenes I was walking around the set scared shitless. Let me tell you something dude, Cobra Kai don't pull punches. Not even during practice. I was getting the living shit kicked out of me on a daily basis.

That big dude to the left who played the head of Cobra Kai made me call him "Sensei" everywhere we went. I was at Burger King one day during shooting and he walked in with Johnny (Who was also a colossal prick) both wearing their karate outfits. They came up to my table and I was like "Hey guys there's extra seats over here.." My friendly offer was abruptly cut off when Johnny flipped my red plastic tray filled with food on me. I got french fries and ketchup all over my nice blouse. Shirt I mean shirt. They started laughing maniacally and then went up to the front and ordered Whoppers.

I still ate the fries off my shirt but wiped off the ketchup with knapkins. That would have been pretty gross if I had eaten that ketchup off my shirt.

I did eat the ketchup too. I lied.

So as you can see from the picture and as you can hear from my story, the movie was going very poorly. My acting was, well, great of course.

But mentally I was losing it. My on-set tutor kept having sex with extras in my trailer and I spent most of my time sitting on a stool I brought from home for some reason, crying.

Where was Mr. Miyagi during all of this? Where WAS MR. MIYAGI YOU SAY?! Ok shut up and I'll tell you. Mr. Miyagi was looking out for Mr. Miyagi. He became obsessed with really catching a fly with those chopsticks and almost went mad by the end of shooting. He started out real cool but after awhile I couldn't take it anymore hearing him call me "Danielson" all the time. To this day I'm still better with chops than that little man, I shit you not.

He was a nice guy though. Like I said he let me drive his car. Oh and he bought me a Playboy one day. Nice guy I guess.

Eventually the director (John G. Avildsen who went on to direct other great films such as Rocky V and no, I'm not kidding look it up. Boy he sucked huh?) told me things weren't working out. He could have been a little faster with yelling CUT especially during the fight scenes which we reshot too many times. So I was fired, yes it's true fans. But I wasn't sad I was just happy to go home. Ok I was a little sad.

And then they brought in some old guy named Ralph Macchio who was like 45 years old. I said "Yeah see if you can make him work you jackassas!" I didn't say it but I thought it while I was watching the movie in the theater. God I love that movie.

My mom's great and all but I wish I just gone to Jewish camp and not done the acting thing that summer.

- LAST FRIDAY AND TODAY

It wasn't until 3:37 PM at work last Friday, that I noticed I had my boxers on backwards.

And I didn't switch em around until later that evening either.

Oh and today my instant messenger is apparently blocked at work. It's like coming into work and finding out someone died. At least it is for me. I think I'm going to throw myself in front of a bus.

- 120 DEGREE WEDDING

My god I was sweating my ass off the entire weekend. But this isn't about me (well really it is cause this is my frigging blog).

Without further something or other, the happy couple:




My boy Luke:




I was pleased to see the photographer was using the same camera I have. Although I don't have a great deal of technical skill, I managed to take a few pleasant shots.

One of my favorites from the weekend:



And my friend Missy who is easy on the eyes managed to stand out in this one:



That's ye ole black and white/color conversion trick I'm trying to teach myself. I know there's an easier way to do it but the results I get seem to be working. Another example is one I took from the the Whiffle Ball Weekend if you want to check it out.

The wedding was a lovely affair. A good time was had by all, even by these two schmucks:



If you're just DYINNNNG for more wedding pictures, and I know you are...check out my flickr slideshow of the day. It's a nice thing to view with some classical music in the background, or John Tesh if you're a sick twisted fool.

Friday night Brooklyn pictures to come later this week.

- MY BOSS

Scene from work. This story is the truth. This is not a fantasy/fiction post.

I went hobbling into my bosses office early last week and sat down on a chair in front of his desk.

Me- "Hey Big V, listen. I have to take one more day off this week to rest my foot. It's healing well but the podiatrist wanted to look at it again Thursday, and I'd like to rest it as much as possible before then. She told me part of the wound around the stitches is still open. I really want to be up and walking as soon as possible."

Big V- "Daniel, I want you to know that people are starting to take notice about all your absences recently.

Me- (completely shocked and defensive) "WHAT? What people are you referring to? I haven't taken any time off, I have over 2 weeks of vacation time saved up."

Big V- "Daniel I just want you to be aware people are noticing, high up people. You take off a day here and there and that Philadelphia trip recently and now this thing with your foot."

(I got up at this point and shut the door to his office and sat back down)

Me- "That Philadelphia thing was ONE day and I asked you about it. And my foot?! I had to get 5 stitches and haven't been able to walk right for the past few weeks.

(long pause as he looks at me all serious)

Me- (busting out of nowhere, try to imagine me really yelling this)"I'M ALWAYS FUCKING HERE!"

Another long pause inserted here as he's looking at me more intently now. I sit back and think to myself did I just use the word FUCKING really loud right to my BOSS.

I'm waiting and quickly thinking I may have to quit right now. I'm not dealing with this BS because in fact I am always here, not super content I am, but obviously now I know I'm not appreciated. I started thinking about looking for new jobs and where I would try to work. All of these thoughts just exploded in my mind within a frame of about 2 seconds.

Then he just jumps back in his chair and starts laughing hysterically and says, "Oh man that was priceless, your reaction...HAHAHAHA!" and just kept laughing.

I was like WTF! I couldn't believe he just pulled one on me like that. I felt like such a moron but started laughing along with him. And pardoned myself for swearing so loudly.

Then the phone rang and he picked it up and I walked out of the office like nothing had just happened.

* I do call my boss Big V just FYI.

- 2005 Whiffle Ball Championship

A true pitching duel occurred this weekend in the 25-24 edging out the Sharks, by the mighty Piranhas. I, of course was on the Sharks and lost. I was pretty freaking pissed but tried not to let on because I didn't know many of the people there. I just went home and cried myself to sleep.


The winning team


A Piranha


Mid pitch


I didn't really run because of my foot, just did some pitching and hitting and had a pinch runner for me. Mixing beer and hours of whiffle ball action in the hot summer sun, is actually more tiring than one would think.