- MY BIRTHDAY

God I'm 30 can you believe it? Kinda depressing but kinda like so what..don't feel any different.

I thought my sock was just uncomfortably positioned on my commute to work today but then I realized it must be something else. So I took my shoe off when I got to my cubicle and saw there was a rubber band inside my shoe. AH HA! better than finding a bunch of razor blades I suppose.

For my birthday today the word of the day, on a vocabulary calendar a friend at work gave me as a present is:

haptic
\'hap-tik\ adj: relating to or based on the sense of touch

Mark could differentiate the various kinds of yarn purely by haptic clues.

I sat for a minute and thought to myself that this wasn't a very good word of the day for my birthday..quite boring in fact. I don't like it at all! Attempting to find a more fitting word I decided to flip randomly to one that would really say something to me. I was looking for a sign, something dramatic, something momentous! I stopped flipping on May 21. The word was:

zwieback \'swe-,bak\ n: a usually sweetened bread enriched with eggs that is backed and then sliced and toasted until dry and crisp

Our favorite cheesecake recipe calls for finely crushed zwieback crumbs for the crust.

- GETTING MY HAIRCUT

I know what you're thinking from the title of this. You're thinking "Wow this is going to be one gosh darn exciting post!"

Well right you are. And you're also a moron for using phrases like, "gosh darn" in your thoughts. Idiot.

I got my haircut Friday for the first time in over a month. I know from this picture it doesn't look too long but trust me it was.



My barbershop is a great little old school establishment on Court Street. Inside you find a little old Italian man speaking broken English and his partner, a Russian woman who also speaks broken English.

On Friday I arrived a little before 6PM and was almost turned away. Russian woman just shook her head and said "no" when she saw me opening the door. My old Italian friend though, told me to take a seat and he would take care of me even though they were closing up. Then the two of them began arguing as they usually do. I think they argue in English because neither speak the others tongue of origin, but I have no idea how they understand each other because I can't really make out more than every 3rd word.

When it was my turn in the chair, he started yelling about his partner who had already gone home at that point. I sat listening and nodded my head (when the scissors weren't too close of course). I always sit there and listen to him talk a few words but mostly he just works and I thank him afterwards. Haircut is $10 and I give a $2 tip.

When he finished cutting he walked over to get the mirror to show me the back and asked me if the length was ok, as he usually does. I ran my fingers through my luxurious chesnut hair with auburn highlights, but before I even said anything he started yelling at me.

"Why your fingers have to touch to feel?" or something to that effect he said. He was mad that I even had to check the length. He yelled something about cutting hair for thirty plus years and knows better than me. He said everyone do that, and mimicked me touching my hair.

I gotta admit I was kinda scared.

He then said, "You go home check if no then never come back, good?" I took that to mean if I checked my hair when I got home and was not satisfied I wouldn't ever have to come back. I told him my hair was fine and I just like to run my fingers through afterwards, just to feel. Then he pointed to the ground and said "Look at all that hair I cut!"

I said yeah man that's a lotta hair! good job.

He never even let me see the back of my head. He had put the mirror back without showing me it which was fine, I just wanted to get out of there. I paid and thanked him. He smiled at me and told me to have a good weekend.

- AIM ROBOTS

AOL Instant messenger has these bots which you can use now. One is a "Shopping Buddy" and one is a "Moviefone" bot. They show up online all the time and you can send them an instant message and inquire about anything having to do with shopping for the former or movies with the latter.

My conversation tonight:

Me: Hi stinkybutt

ShoppingBuddy: Welcome. Now you can search for products with AOLShopping. Type main to get started. To read our privacy policy, type privacy anytime.

Me: ha you're funny.

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for ha funny

- Ha! Ha! Ha! [$2.95 - $5.95]
- Funny Ha Ha - DVD [$14.99 - $21.99]

Me: How about the movie Fast times at your moms house

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for fast times moms house

- Help Wanted for Busy Moms [$8.99]

Me: fucku

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for fucku

- Fuck You, This Is Rice [$5.99 - $6.99]
- What The Fuck Will Change? [$11.49 - $13.98]
- Fuck World Trade [Digipak] * [$10.66 - $15.98]
- I'll Shut Up When You Fuck Off * [$5.00]
- Fuck The System * [$16.62 - $36.49]
- Fuck Me Then Get Out [$7.95]
- Straightedge As Fuck III [$6.99 - $13.98]
- Amped The Fuck Up [$6.99 - $13.99]
- Fuck Me Harder White Boy #2 [$26.95]

Me: fuck

ShoppingBuddy: Clean it up a little -- this is a family bot. ;-)

Me: clean it up a little? you just sent me a link for "Straightedge As Fuck III" ?! I don't even know what the fuck that is? and they made three of them? even more preposterous!

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy: I didn't find any specific products. Try searching again or type M for the Main Menu.

Me: yeah that's what I thought. ass licker

ShoppingBuddy: Hey -- clean up the language and get serious. I'm happy to help but can't deal with that mouth.

Me: oh but you can sell me "Fuck Me Then Get Out" for $7.95?

ShoppingBuddy: Hmm, that's not gonna get you anywhere with me.

Me: dude you SAID THAT TO ME!

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for dude SAID

- Diaper Dude Charcoal Diaper Bag w [$49.99]
- Diaper Dude Camoflauge Bag [$49.00]
- Diaper Dude Charcoal Diaper Bag w [$44.99]
- Diaper Dude Diaper Diva - Pink Ca [$53.99]
- Black Diaper Dude Bag [$49.00]
- Diaper Dude Camo Kai Diaper Bag C [$53.99]
- Diaper Dude Pink Camouflage [$58.00]
- Diaper Dude Faux Suede Diaper Bag [$89.99]

Me: hmm diaperdude charcoal diaper bag.. ok so maybe we have something in common. I like you ShoppingBuddy. I'm wearing grey boxers with a dirty white t-shirt.

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for wearing grey boxers dirty white shirt

- Sloggi Power low coverage brief [$17.00]

Me: send me a picture of you. cybersex?

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for cybersex

- The Joy of Cybersex [$7.82 - $12.92]
- Online Friendship, Chat-Room Roma [$2.00]
- Cybersex by Kimberly Young (2001) [$4.26]
- The Joy of Cybersex by Nancy Tamo [$4.26]
- Cybersex [$22.23 - $31.91]
- Cybersex Guide [$15.65 - $19.44]
- Self-Games and Body-Play [$27.85 - $33.00]

Me: you nasty bot you.. stop typing with one finger

ShoppingBuddy: OK, I'm searching for matches 4 U. Gimme a sec...

ShoppingBuddy:
- Search results for nasty bot typing one finger

- Bissell SpotBot Hands-Free Compac [$129.99]
- Marvel 8" Human Torch Tech Bot [$8.99]
- Marvel 8" Human Torch Tech Bot [$8.99]
- Robot-Bot-Bot by Fernando Krahn ( [$12.20]
- Michelangelo by Marc Le Bot (1995 [$50.00]
- Transformers Go-Bots: Beast-Bot F [$14.99]

Me: ok that Transformers G0-Bots Beast-Bot just did it for me..I'm done thank you!

ShoppingBuddy: Sure, that's what I'm here for!

- FLICKR

Over at flickr there's a group I'm a member of named, DeleteMe Uncensored. The group consists of members who submit a photograph into a pool and then other members vote to either Save or Delete that picture from the pool.

If you reach 10 deletes your picture is booted out and you can submit another one. It is basically a critiquing tool but incorporates a lot of humor and heavy doses of sarcasm as well. IF however you get 10 saves, your photograph is put into the Folio, a collection of saved images.



But you are also eligible to drop it into a new pool called the DM Gallery. This new gallery is different because the number of photographs cannot exceed 200. So when you get a shot saved you can submit it to the DM Gallery but you must remove a current photograph that you feel is the weakest of the 200.

The point is to create a stunning photostream containing 200 of the better images found on flickr. It's interesting because choosing that one picture to delete while adding your own is going to cause some friction between group members and most certainly hurt feelings.

The group just started so only a few shots have been deleted so far. Luckily none of my submissions have been booted yet but I'm sure a few will in the future.

- LATE GIFT FOR MY MAILPERSON

MAILMAN/MAILWOMAN/MAIL CARRIER/MAILPERSON

Whichever.

This was the holiday/new years eve present I gave to my mailperson this morning. I scotch taped this piece of paper together with the $20 on the inside. I kept forgetting to get a card and give him/her (not sure who delivers my mail) a little gift and it's already the middle of January so I had to think fast this morning and came up with this..



On the front it just says, "TO MY MAILPERSON"

What a class act I am huh?

Hey it's the thought that counts right? Well the thought and for them the $20 so they don't pee in my mailbox anymore.

- RECENTLY

Haven't thought of a good post in awhile and can't really now but I'll give you my sister and bro-in-law's cross country website they are updating as they drive from CA to CT. They are embarking on a year long traveling journey, spanning several continents. I will hopefully be meeting them up somewhere in Asia for a few weeks.

Oh and A was False, B was True

I bought a new camera lens so I can take nice portraits of my beautiful lady:



and shot a wedding on New Years Eve which was my first real paying gig that I was the hired gun: