- I AM A MASTER SUSHI CHEF

Being a master sushi chef is not easy. You have to study for years and years to achieve that status. Even something as simple sounding as making sushi rice is an art that can be studied for countless hours. When you finally get to cutting actual raw fish..well forget about it.. you people just wouldn't understand.

I've come so long since my humble start as a fortune cookie writer, to bus boy, to waiter, and to finally got getting my shot behind the sushi bar.

People are hesitant seeing a white boy like me slicing their Toro up but when it melts in your mouth like that chocolate bar you had forgotten about in your back pocket on that scalding hot day in July and didn't notice it until you got home and sat down on your bed, well..... What was I saying? Oh yeah the sushi I make. It's fan-fucking-tastic.

- MTA TRANSIT STRIKE DAY III

This strike isn't so bad for me. I've gotten rides to and from work from complete strangers all three days so far. Cabs are willing to take me over the Brooklyn Bridge for free in order to fill their mandatory 4 passengers between 5AM-11AM. My apartment is located in a prime position for cabs looking to pick up people before heading towards the bridge.

I just say "I got no money but need to go over the bridge" and they usually glance and me once and then say "just get in," and drop me off on the Manhattan side which leaves me a 5 minute walk to work.

Leaving work last night I spotted a dude driving a nice BMW and flagged him down to take me over the bridge. We had a nice chat about women, relationships, and Brooklyn, three things I enjoy talking about.

I realize what an inconvenience this for everyone but it does afford us an opportunity to meet different people and interact with fellow New Yorkers in a way we don't normally get to do.

- HOWARD STERN

My sister got me a gig doing photography at the Howard Stern after party at Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square last Friday. This was my best shot of him that I managed by briefly borrowing an all access pass into the small area Howard was in. He looks a bit stunned which is understandable as he was signing autographs and doing interviews for about 3 hours straight. It was pretty crazy:



That shot was put on the main yahoo page today (I'm assuming my sister put it there) so that's pretty cool.

My sister blogged about the entire moving of his show from K-Rock to Sirius. You can check it out here.

She interviewed the entire staff cept for Howard, who was busy as hell all week. But she did manage to get a shot with him before the end of the day Friday.

Unfortunately that was like the one shot I didn't take! My sister got Artie to take it. When she asked, he informed her that he was holding a drink. She took his drink, handed him the camera and said something to the effect of, "Now I'm holding the drink so take the picture." He did. I think that picture got the most press so far including like over 14,000 views on flickr.

The funniest story of the entire ordeal came Thursday night. I stayed at my sisters hotel in Times Square for fear of the possible MTA strike on Friday (which was averted but only briefly as we all now know). She was busy with work all night so around 11PM I went out to do some street photography. The cold multicolored evening Manhattan streets were glazed with rain, which always makes for some nice shots:



After snapping off a few like that, I saw two guys who said hello and asked what I had been up to that night.

I said, "just shooting."

One guy said, "Is there a firing range around here?"

I said, "Uh I mean with my camera."

The one guy introduced himself and shook my hand. I asked what they were up to.

The same guy who asked the dumb question said, "We were just across the street at the Playpen."

I looked at my hand and asked in a semi-disgusted way, "Did you guys beat off in there?"

"Yeah" they both gleefully giggled.

I informed them how nasty that was and in an attempt to calm my nerves he said not to worry because they had, "washed up". That didn't really make me feel much better. I realized I wouldn't be able to touch anything with my right hand until getting back to the hotel to wash up proper. "Proper" meaning using bleach and acid on my hands.

After some more chitchat I realized that I was talking to Sal the Stockbroker from the Howard Stern Show, and Schuli, another Stern sidekick.

I immediately called my sister on my cell as I realized what a funny coincidence this was. The guys had just come back from Philly or somewhere doing a show and got back in the city to catch a quick film before going back to their hotel. The next morning they were to be on the final public broadcast of the Howard Stern show.

My sister and her friend/coworker Heather came downstairs and we all chatted for a few minutes before they hailed a cab. I had my sister take this picture of us:



Sal was a cool guy though and we hung out a bit at the party the following day. He had a huge crush on my sister and insisted on continually telling me how beautiful she was.

It was a great time. I shook hands with Ba Ba BOOEY, got a few close up shots of Sheryl Crow, and saw Martha Stewart introduce Howard to the crowd.

And to end the day I even managed to swing myself a picture with Robin.

- MTA STRIKE

Well we got our strike. I know many people were secretly wishing for this or at least humming to themselves about how it might be a bit interesting.

I won't call this a tragedy, but 7 million people not using their normal daily means of travel is a major event. A crisis if you will, and that brings people together.

I slept in today realizing that if I was going to walk my ass to work in the freezing cold I deserve some extra zzzzz's. When I got outside I stuck my thumb out and got picked up by a nice man in a SAAB. Getting in I said, "Funny thing is if there wasn't a strike you never would have picked me up right?" He said he would have regardless. Then I realized he wasn't wearing pants.

Ok so he was wearing pants but he only drove me 5 blocks up and then said he had to turn onto another street which was the opposite direction for me. I got out and thanked him.

From there I walked to the Brooklyn Bridge and hitched another ride over with a Jeep that had 3 people in it. The guy who owned the car had hand-written notes on the back windows actually seeking passengers. This is because you need at least 4 people in your car to cross over the bridge between 5AM-11AM. The time was coming up on 11AM by the time I got in their car.

I got in and thanked him. There was a Russian guy they had picked up in Sunset Park and the drivers girlfriend was in the front passenger seat. We never got checked for having 4 people so I admit I was a little nervous that they were going to kick me out of the car after getting onto the bridge. But they didn't and it was a nice pleasant ride in. Everyone smelled nice.


UPDATE: Tonight I hitch-hiked a ride home almost the entire way from a nice couple who played Spanish music the entire ride. It was pretty relaxing I even fell asleep for a few minutes.

- GOOD PEOPLE

6:12PM. Me. Rushing towards my F train transfer at the Essex street stop. Carefully nudging pedestrians around me in an attempt to catch my train home. There be a fine line between straight up shoving and the graceful-rushed-glide that I have managed to perfect like I was a 14 year old Russian ice skating Olympian.

Sometimes I do wish I was a young Russian girl. Other times I brush my teeth with ivory sooooap. Notice how the extra ooo's give the word a bubble type soapy feel? Isn't there a definition for that in the English language? "Fucking Stupid!" yeah that's the word!

Where was I?

Oh right the subway. I slid down the stairs like a (insert perverted sexual analogy here).

I heard the doors closing as I made my final turn and mad dash for the train. About 5 feet away now! I leapt and extended my leg almost into a split and caught the door at the last possible moment with my foot.

YES! FRIGGING-A DUDE I MADE IT!!! For those who don't know, if you manage to hold the door the operator will eventually open them (almost always). They can't move the train until all doors are closed.

I was waiting, watching the door and my foot. Then I heard, "You could have just yelled out for me to hold the doors." It was the conductor who happened to be sticking his head out of the same car I had my foot in. I didn't realize it but he was literally 2 feet away from where I was standing, shaking his head at me.

Humbled, I bowed my head and said, "Sorry can you open the doors please." He did and I stepped in. In a second my triumphant feat was washed away with a simple head shaking.

Speaking of triumphant feet I need to wash mine they stink.

Anyway. On the train I starting thinking about the fact I should have just asked but then realized that most of the time when you ask the operators will just ignore you and take off anyway. When I got out at my stop I told the guy that and he said, "Yeah you're right man I realize that. But I would have opened it for you."

I said, "Well that's because you're a good guy. More people should be like you." He smiled and wished me a happy holiday.

good people.

- FACT OR FICTION II

Part two in my installment of this popular game. The home version is available here: Show them what they've won!

Ok so actually that was just Part I, the original post.

Anyway let's play. Again.

I will create two scenarios/scenes/situation/thoughts/ideas or whatever. One will be undoubtedly True and the other will be positively False. You guess which is which. I will leave the answer in the comments section eventually. Maybe.

A)

I went to lunch today with a friend from work. It was one of those deli sandwich/salad places which are quite common in my downtown area. We were on line waiting to order while a woman next to us was paying for her sandwich: Roast beef with swiss, lettuce, tomato, red onion, and mayo. I made the comment to my friend, "That sounds good maybe I'll get that."

The woman must have overheard me and kinda smiled while giving me a smirking wink/nod like she was my grandfather congratulating me on figuring out a puzzle. There's only so much credit one can give themselves or in my case accept about two random people having similar good taste in a deli sandwich. In the grand scheme of things it really means nothing.

Or does it? Wait and see.

After paying for her sandwich I guess her cell phone started vibrating and she grabbed for it and began talking quite frantically to whomever was on the other line. I'm still not sure if the news was good or bad but obviously it was something which provoked her enough to hang up the phone and prepare to run out of the deli. Before she did though she handed the sandwich to me and said, "I know you were going to order this anyway so take it, I have to run and don't have time to eat right now."

I took that sandwich and ate it. But the thing I never got to tell the woman is that I would have put it on a hard roll, not white bread. That crazy bitch.

B)

I was on the subway last night snugly wedged between a sleeping woman and an old Russian man who smelled like oranges for some reason.

I knew he was Russian from the paper he was reading.

I knew he smelled of oranges because he smelled like fucking oranges.

A homeless woman entered the scene and began her well rehearsed plea for some change, any change, to help her get something to eat. As she made her way through the car a nice gentleman gave her a dollar bill. She continued on her path and then stopped, backtracked and stood a few feet away from this kind soul who gave her the money.

She looked up at something above her and starred for awhile. Several people in the car were quiet, their eyes transfixed upon this woman. She stood and starred..For awhile (like I just mentioned before).

Then she looked down at the guy and gave him back his dollar. He was obviously dumbfounded, as was I. He looked around with an awkward smile painted on his face and put the dollar back in his pocket.

Then I looked up to see what the woman was starring at. What could she have seen that changed her mind about taking the money? I was expecting to see some kind of religious poster or scribbling or I don't know what I thought I would see. Then I saw it.

An ad for a local technical community college. That was it. What the fuck?

- LETTER TO MY MAILMAN ABOUT MISSING NETFLIX DVDS

Dear Mailperson,

When I receive certain small packages in red envelope, they are DVDs that I sometimes have issues getting lately.

The other day I saw one outside my mailbox on the ledge. I realize I had some larger catalogues and magazines in my mail and you couldn't fit everything into my mailbox, but please if you could just make sure to put those red pieces of mail within my box.

Thank you.

PS. I had just moved here around Christmas time last year and did not leave you a gift but I plan on it this year.

Thanks again,

Daniel Krieger

- NOW THAT I DO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

Well the last post was mocking my lack of ladies skills. But to balance that I will give an example of something that just happened 10 minutes ago.

I was reaching for the elevator doors at work as they were closing. A woman who was already inside hit the button to reopen the doors so I could make it. I thanked her and said, "Well thank you. Consider that your one good deed for today" and smiled.

She said, "I can do much better than that."

I'm still not sure what she meant but she probably wasn't looking for my response which was, "Oh no I'm serious most people don't even have that for one day..I think it was really nice."

It wasn't till I was out of the elevator that I thought oh wait..maybe she was talking bad-dirty-nasty. The way she said it was a bit sly and savvy like.

Or maybe it wasn't. I guess this is another post that shows my lack of ladies skills. so there really was no balancing from this story. Nice.